FAQs

WHAT IF you’re not quite right for me?

A little like dating, choosing a counsellor is a very personal choice that is often settled implictly by ‘having a feeling’. It’s quite standard within the industry for clients to try a couple of different counsellors before settling in and I will be happy to recommend others if you feel that I am not a good fit. I will also be completely transparent as to whether I believe I am best suited to you, or whether I believe you may benefit more from a counsellor with a different approach or speciality.

I think i probably need to go to talk to someone but the thought terrifies me

This is completely natural and a very common feeling amongst clients. There are many people who have never experienced even one relationship where they feel safe enough to share their most vulnerable fears and insecurities. I will help you to feel as comfortable and supported as I can, and we will go at your pace. I will never push you to share any parts of yourself that you do not feel comfortable sharing.

WILL YOU SOLVE ALL MY PROBLEMS?

Sadly no. As humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers said “the shoe that fits one person pinches another, there is no recipe for living that suits all cases”. My role is to bring an extra torch so you can see your way a little clearer. I will however provide psycho-education where I feel it will be useful.

will you play favourites?

Attending couple’s counselling can be daunting and many people feel extremely anxious. It is important that both of you feel heard, respected, empathised with and cared for within each session. I am there to create safety and focus on the dynamics occurring between you both.
I am definitely not there to judge or pick sides.

HOW MANY SESSIONS WILL I NEED?

This is entirely dependant on what you bring to counselling and what you are wanting to get out of it. Some issues can be quickly untangled with a fresh pair of eyes, some validation and a bit of psycho-education, while other issues may have built up over years, be very complex and require a slow and steady approach.

Many couples require at least 6 - 12 months of counselling to see meaningful change.

How frequently will sessions be?

With couple’s counselling it is often recommended to begin weekly sessions in order for both people to feel help and support is not too far away, with the option to reassess and transition to fortnightly as momentum begins to gain traction.

With individual sessions, it is completely up to what works best for you and your budget. Often it may be helpful to get some early momentum with weekly sessions and then reduce them later if required. The context of counselling is extremely important, so it can be common for counselling to ebb and flow, taking time off now and then to integrate growth, and come back to it later.

What if we encounter each other in the wild?

Christchurch is a very small place, and from time to time encounters happen. Your confidentiality and privacy is extremely important. I will respect this by not approaching you or disclosing to anyone how we know each other. You are welcome, however, to say hi to me if you fancy.